Akatsuki Kittehs WTF!
by LolAvatarWolfs
Summary: 1st story, no flame plz. jade   some girls   akatsuki kittehs   unexpected events   :D  discontinued cuz ima lazy @ss
1. Chapter 1: The beggining

_Ok, this is my first story so please be nice._

_Your doing the disclaimer thing Deidara! D: Do have to, un? M: Yes, yes you do. D: Bree does not own naruto or akatsuki. All rights are reserved to the original creator. M: The only things I own are the OC's, the idea, and this Chihuahua that has bad gas._

Normal 3rd P.O.V.

It was just any normal day. If you count a 18 year old girl being attacked by her friends…

"Help! Someone please!" The girl yelled as her three friends tackled her to the ground.

"Ha-ha we got you! Now, how should we torture her?" One of the girls asked, pinning her right arm with an evil grin.

"Hey I know!" The girl pinning her legs yelled, "We should burn her akatsuki blanket!"

"To hell! If you don't wanna die, I suggest you don't!"

"Dude, I think she means business." The girl at the left arm said, slightly scared.

They piled off of her and let her get up.

"I'm sorry Jade," The girl who was pinning her right arm said, "I was kind of in the moment." She gave her friends a big cheesy smile.

"It's ok Zaira." Jade began, "Just don't get Avery and Jackie into this ok? This is war, and I don't want my friends in the cross fire." Jade said without a clue**.** She gave her friend a serious look.

After what seemed about a minute of serious looks going around the small group, they all burst out laughing and falling on the floor.

* * *

><p>(Now may be a good time for descriptions.)<p>

Jade: A 18 year old girls, whom loves to joke and have fun. Her gifted talents are being artistic, musical, and just plain weird. She has long black hair that, if let down, goes past her butt. She usually wears it in a pony-tail or braid. She has bright green eyes and rants about her favorite bad guys. (I'll give ya one guess who)

Avery: Avery was also 18 years old. She had black hair that reached to her shoulders with brown eyes. She is the gross one out of the bunch, and the most perverted, Jade being secondly perverted. She usually wears eye-liner and has the same love for the bad guys as Jade. Her gifted talents are being artistic, making her friends laugh, scare people, and being tough.

Zaira: Yet **another** 18 year old. She has brown hair that reaches her shoulder blade. She also has blue eyes. She was frisky and, what some people would say, a sugar addict. Her talents include making everyone laugh, making everyone feel uncomfortable/embarrassed, and being able to (literally) bounce off the walls. She shows and expresses her love for the same bad guys.

Jackie: She was the youngest of the group, by only a few months, but was still 18. She was the smallest out of all of them. She has short black hair that reached the base of her neck. It had different colored streaks in it. (depending on the season, her mood, events, ect.) She has hazel eyes. She was the most quiet and shy of them all. She also likes these mysterious bad guys (I wonder who!). Her talents are being able to not make a single sound, writing, and being able to eat three times as much as the other girls combined. 0_0 …

Overall, they are a lovable bunch of weirdo's that everyone else things are weird.

* * *

><p>The four girls walked back to Jades condo that they all lived together in (thus their love for each other).<p>

"Hey who wants to play the ii?" Jade asked as they got into the large two-story condo.

"No we can't! Zaira yelled, "We gotta watch Naruto Shippuden!"

"Ah I almost forgot!" Avery agreed.

Jackie nodded her head.

"Oh fine. I can't wait to see the hottest fictional bad guys in history." Jade said jokingly, but wasn't kidding.

She turned on the T.V. and went to the recorded shows section. Avery went to get her sketch pad, while Jackie went to get popcorn. Zaira went to help Jackie put the popcorn in the 'to-tall-for-Jackie-to-reach' microwave.

"WHAT THE FUDGE BUCKETS!" Jade yelled at the top of her lungs

Everyone jumped at her loud voice.

"What's wrong?" Jackie asked from the kitchen.

"THE STUPID FRICKEN T.V. DIDN'T RECORD NARUTO!" Jade yelled angrily.

"What did you say?" Avery came running in the room with her sketch pad.

"You heard me. And I bet I sounded pissed off."

"You **are** pissed off. As am I." Zaira growled through her teeth.

Jackie pouted, "So what now?"

Just then the door bell rang.

Jade sighed. "I got I," She announced to no one in particular.

She walked down stairs (yes the kitchen and living room are upstairs) and to the door. She opened the door… to find no one? Jade was already pissed off at not seeing the hot bad guys on her T.V. , now there are some bratty kids punking her. That's when she noticed a large box at her door step.

"What the-?" Jade started. She looked around but no one was there.

* * *

><p>Akatsuki 3rd P.O.V.<p>

"**Were the hell are we?" **Hidan asked, rather stupidly.

"**We're in a box idiot." **Kakuzu growled.

"**No fucking 'do-da' Sherlock." **Hidan snarled back.

"**Everyone shut up." **Pein snapped.

Everyone was silent.

"**If I may ask, Leader-sama," **Zetsu spoke up,** "why are we in a large card-board box?"**

"**And why are we kittens, un?" **Deidara added.

Pein thought for a moment. **"I honestly have no clue."**

"**Tobi thinks Tobi is cute as a kitty!"**

"**Shut up Tobi, un!"**

"**Why don't you shut up brat?" **Sasori questioned his partner.

"**Shh, I hear someone." **Pein said.

The box opened and a old man stared at them. He grunted and reclosed the box, and picked it up.

"**What's he doing?" **Kisame grunted.

Itachi spoke up, **"I think he's taking us somewhere."**

"**Well I couldn't fucking figure that out, damn Uchia." **Hidan said coldly.

The whole box shook and then stood still. The 10 kittens listened in silence. They heard what sounded like the press of a button and footsteps walking off. Then the sound of a door opening and a females voice.

"What the-?" The voice asked.

All the kittens stayed as quiet as possible.

"Well who is it?" Another female voice yelled. (Zaira)

"A box?" The girl questioned a response. (Jade)

"What?" (Zaira)

The kittens could feel the box being lifted and the female voice again.

"I'm bringing it in. It sure is heavy!"

* * *

><p>Normal 3rd P.O.V.<p>

Jade walked up the stairs, with box in hand, as she kicked the door behind her to make it close. She walked through the 1st story of the condo, making her way to and up the stairs. She placed the box in-front of the couch. The three other girls sat themselves around the box. They all looked at it.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Zaira asked a bit annoyed at the fact that they couldn't watch Naruto.

"It's for dramatic effect, gosh." Jade said teasingly at Zaira. She grabbed the flaps of the box and pulled them loose. All four of the girls looked inside.

"Holy crap, kittens!" Jade though out-loud.

"Aw they're so KWAII!" Jackie squealed.

"Why are there kittens here in a box at the door step?" Avery asked.

"Don't ask me! Ask the kitties!" Jade pointed to the kittens.

"You've **got** to be kidding me." Avery said while rolling her eyes.

"Lets take them out and see what they look like." Jackie suggested.

The four girls took the kittens out.

"I call first dibs!" Jade blurted out.

One of the kittens meowed.

"Second!" Avery chimed in after.

"You can go before me, Jackie."

"T-thanks."

(so it would be: Jade, Avery, Jackie, and then Zaira)

"Wow these kittens sure do look weird." Zaira said.

The silver kitten, Hidan, hissed at her.

* * *

><p>Akatsuki 3rd P.O.V.<p>

"**What the hell? Who are they?" **Hidan asked glaring at the girls.

"**It looks like they're girls." **Kisame smirked.

Hidan was about to attack Kisame when something caught his attention.

"I call first dibs!" One of the girls yelled.

"**First dibs for what, un?' **Deidara asked nervously.

The other females responded.

"Wow these kittens sure do look weird." The girl with blue eyes asked. (Zaira)

"**Who you calling 'weird' bitch!" **Hidan hissed at her.

"Touchy much?" She responded at his hiss.

It was true. They did look weird.

(Kitty description time :D )(sorry it sucks :( )

Pein: Pein had orange fur and black spots on his face that looked a lot like piercings. And he had light purple eyes.

Konan: She had bluish purple fur and a white circle by her right ear. She had purple/green eyes and is the only female of them.

Itachi: He was pitch black with eyes that would change from red to black.

Kisame: The largest of them, he has … blue? fur. He also had black markings under his yellow eyes.

Kakuzu: The second biggest kitten, he has tan fur and black stripes. He had green/red eyes. (Christmas colors!)

Hidan: He had silver fur and purple/pink eyes. He also had a small Jashin necklace around his neck that no one noticed.

Deidara: He was a blonde kitten with bright sky blue eyes. A tuff of fur covered his left eye.

Sasori: He had maroon red fur with brown eyes that had a dull expression of boredom in them.

Zetsu: His fur was split in half. One side was black and the other was white. And he had gold eyes.

Tobi: He was all black except for a orange face and onyx eyes.

* * *

><p>Normal 3rd P.O.V.<p>

"Ok jut pick four kittens and name them Jade, we don't have all day." Zaira said.

Jade sighed, "Fine."

She picked the blonde one, the large blue one, the black one, and the black and white kittens.

Avery chose the maroon one, and the black and orange kittens.

Jackie chose the tan and black one and the silver kittens.

And Zaira was left with the orange kitten and female kitten.

"I'll name you Ying Yang because of your fur," She said holding Zetsu. Zetsu likes his name. "And you my fuzzy friend can be Barbie!" She held up Deidara.

"Barbie?" The three girls asked simaltaniously.

Deidara was twitching uncontrollably. Hidan and Kisame were snickering at him.

"I'm just kidding, I'll name you Handsome." She smiled.

Deidara smirked at his new name as he was set down by Ze- I mean Ying Yang. Itachi and Kisame were next.

"Spade," she pointed to Itachi, "and Jaws."

Kisame went and sulked in the emo corner of the box.

Avery named Sasori Axle and Tobi Pumpkin.

Jackie had trouble naming her two, so Zaira named hers.

"I think I'll name you Jewel…," She held up Konan. Then pointed to Pein and said, "And you will be Pain because you look a lot like Pein from the Akatsuki."All the kittens froze and looked shocked.

"Geez, whats wrong with them?" Zaira asked, a bit freaked out at some of the cats reactions.

"Ha-ha their reactions are priceless!" Jade and Avery laughed.

"Ok," Jackie said pointing to Kakuzu," You'll be Frank," Then she pointed to Hidan, "and you'll be George."

Hidan hissed and tried to attack Jackie, who by the way freaked out, but was his on the head by Zaira's hand. Frank (Kakuzu) and George (Hidan) joined Jaws (Kisame) in the emo corner.

Jade sighed, "I need a nap, anyone want to join me?" She looked at the kittens. Handsome, Pumpkin and Jaws stood up and followed her to her room. Avery looked at the kittens.

"What to do now…"


	2. Chapter 2: Kittehs and Chicken?

_Yay new chapter please review!_

_I don't own naruto or akatsuki. I only own the OC's, plot idea, and a demonic Chihuahua puppy named bobo._

1st P.O.V. Jade

I was lying in my bed. I had lied about the nap to just to get some peace and quiet. They knew better than to mess with me and my naps. Oh Jashin I sound like an old person ha-ha. I turned to see Pumpkin (Tobi) cuddling up next to me. I couldn't help but smile. Handsome (Deidara) was looking at me like I was crazy.

"What?" I asked the kitten.

I could've sworn he rolled his visible eye at me.

Jaws (Kisame) was curled up by feet, Pumpkin was curled up between my arm and body. Handsome was settling down by my head. It was nice and quiet. I was actually falling asleep when there was yelling.

"AH HELP ME ZAIRA! THIS CAT IS MAULING ME!"

That was Jackie. I quickly shot up, much to their disliking. I ran out of my room, kittens in toe, and saw a terrible scene. George (Hidan) was attacking poor Jackie! He was latched to her shoulder. I wasn't going to put up with that. Hello inner terrorist! :D

Normal 3rd P.O.V.

Jackie was yelling for help. Zaira was trying to pry the cat off but nothing happened. Avery had gone to get the mail earlier, since it was her turn to get it.

"Jackie hold still! Zaira, get out of the way please." Jade said firmly.

They did as told. Jade grabbed George by the scruff of his neck and squeezed real hard, making the kitten meow loudly. Jade took the chance and yanked George off of the crying Jackie.

"Are you ok Jackie?" Jade and Zaira said at the same time.

She sniffled, "My shoulder hurts real badly, and I'm emotionally scared, but other than that in fine." She gave a weak smile and chuckle.

Jade smiled, then looked at George, "You shall suffer my wrath you stupid cat!" Jade grinned evilly sending chills down all of the kittens spines.

She put George (Hidan) in the box and closed it, making sure there was no escape. All the cats looked at her confused. Jade then picked up the box and stared shaking it like a mad woman. When she was done, she opened the box to find a very mad and dizzy kitty.

She smiled, "That's what punishment will be if anyone gets in trouble."

All of the felines went bug eyed. The three girls laughed.

"I think you emotionally scared **them**!" Zaira laughed. Jackie giggled.

"Ha, what should we do for dinner? Also we have the kitties to worry about… I still don't know if we should keep them." Zaira said after gaining control of her laughter.

"We're keeping them!"Jade yelled at the top of her lungs. "Oh and pizza sounds good right now. As for cat food…"

"We have some meat in the fridge." Jackie offered.

"Excellent!" Zaira said, "We're gonna keep 'em!"

They heard the front door open and close.

"Nothing in the mail." Avery called out.

"M'kay. Hey is it alright with you if we, oh I don't know, kept the kittens?" Jade asked.

"Sure, as long as they don't mess with me, I'm fine." She replied with no emotion in her voice.

"Ok and we'll be having pizza for dinner."

"Whatever."

Jade smiled as Avery headed to her room. Most likely to draw. Jade turned on the T.V. and her and Jackie were watching Regular Show on Cartoon Network. Zaira sighed and went into her room to call for four pizzas.

**~ Time Skip to when pizza gets there ~ Still 3****rd**** P.O.V. ~**

The door bell rang and Zaira shot up. Money in hand, she rand to the door and retrieved the three pizzas from him. As soon as he took the money, she slammed the door in his face and ran back to the upstairs kitchen and plopped the pizzas down on the table.

Meanwhile, Jackie had gotten out 11 bowls. 10 for each kitten for their food and 1 big one for water.

"**What the hell is this?" Hidan said while sniffing the chicken.**

"It's chicken. **Stupid." Zetsu said.**

As the kittens meowed to each other, the four girls were eating at the table. The first kitten that was done was Jaws (Kisame). He jumped up on the table to see what the girls were up to. He scrunched up his nose when Jackie quickly plucked him up and cuddled with him.

"Geez Jackie! You're gonna kill him!" Avery said.

"Well he's my favorite out of all of them."

Kisame smirked as the kittens snickered.

Everything was silent for like a minute before Jackie scrunched up her nose in discuss.

"What is it Jackie?" Jade asked trying not to laugh. Her face looked so cute and funny.

"He stinks, like really bad." She said holding him out. "He needs a bath!"

"Here I'll do it tomorrow if that will make you happy." Jade said, while taking Kisame. "I'll give the rest baths tomorrow too."

She placed Kisame, or rather Jaws, on the floor so he wouldn't suffocate.

**~Yet another time skip to BED TIME~**

"Well I'm going to bed." Avery stated.

"Wait a sec!" Zaira yelled a little too loud, "What are we gonna do with the kitties?"

"Can they sleep in my room? Please please please please?" Jade begged.

"Sure, but I'm bringing Axle. I like him because he's quiet and calm." Avery stated.

She picked up Sasori, who had a bored expression like always, and brought him to her room.

"Aw, she's becoming attached!" Zaira said, rather cute may I add, and then added, "I'm gonna bring Ying Yang so I'm not lonely."

"I guess ill bring G-Gorge." Jackie stated, unsure of the silver cat.

"And I get the rest since I'm awesome like that!" Jade exclaimed proudly.

Zaira hit her in the head with her hand. "Baka."

Jade pouted.

The trio set off to their rooms with the cats while saying their good nights to each other.

**Jade's P.O.V.**

I brought the Kittens in my room and shut the door. I set them on the bed and climbed in, not bothering to change since I wore my pajamas all day long.

The kittens looked around for a bit before getting situated.

Kakuzu was sleeping on the dresser, Kisame slept by my legs, Tobi was curled up… well on top of my hip (I was sleeping on my side), Pein and Konan were on the desk chair, Deidara was by my head, Itachi was curled up on the other side of my bed.

I sighed before slowly falling asleep.

**Jackie's P.O.V.**

I quietly put the silver cat on my bed and closed the door.

Wait… is he … _glaring _at me?

I looked at him, "Look I'm sorry. Just get some sleep, M'kay?"

He hissed at me before going under the bed.

I sighed and climbed into bed. Then drifted ff to sleep as soon as I knew the demon kitty was asleep.

**Avery's P.O.V.**

I placed the maroon cat on my bed and shut the door. I went into the bathroom and changed. When I left the bathroom, I found Axle curled up were he was placed.

I couldn't help but smile. I climbed into the bed and quickly fell asleep.

**Zaira's P.O.V.**

I put the awesome looking kitty on my pillow and quickly changed in my bathroom.

When I got out, I saw him at the door, pawing at it.

"No, no its bed time now Ying Yang. You're gonna sleep with me." I smiled at the confused kitten.

I picked him up and brought him to my bed. He went under the covers and was curled up by my arm.

AH! SO CUTE!

* * *

><p><em>Ok, this was short...<em>

_Well good news. I got inspiration for this sory. Bad news is that im to lazy to put it in :D_

_I bet everyone loves me. Pluss more... personal issuse are going on. Heres a conversation i had with my grown up friend named Lea:_

_Me: I DUN FEEL GOOD._

_Lea: Yea, Aunt Flow is in town and is staying for a week._

_Me: Shut up! It's not funny! *grumblegrumble*_

_Lea: HAHA :D_

_Me: EW! SPPIDER! *runs into the office and writes this*_


	3. Chptr3: Dancing, Cold water, & Human Dei

_I do not own naruto, but if I did, flying monkeys with bazooka's that shoot out poop would be included._

_:D love my randomness. LOVE IT!_

* * *

><p><strong>Morning time! (5:00 a.m.)<strong>

**Jade's P.O.V.**

I was having the most awesome dream ever! Me and my Akatsuki crush! I wont go into detail but I will say that it was romantic.

…

Ew.

Not like that.

Pervert.

Anyways, when I was having "my most awesome dream ever'', something hard hit my head.

I was forced to open my eyes, seeing that I had to find out what/who woke me and destroy it/them.

I sat up and looked around. I saw that my phone was knocked off the desk by a certain blonde cat.

"Why did you wake me up, damn it! I was having an awesome dream." I sighed as he jumped on my bed and gave me an annoyed expression. I looked around, once more.

The other cats were just waking up. I sighed and got up.

"Since your all up and its… five a.m., I will let you roam the house as I play the Wii downstairs. But Jashin help me if something is broken, scratched, knocked over, ruined, or pissed on," I glared at the males, "I will KILL you. Ok have fun."

I ran out of the room to play 'Just Dance 2' on the wii, most of the kittens followed me so that they wouldn't get killed.

I turned on the wii and scrolled through the song list.

"Oh Em Gee! The Rasputin! Must… play…" I said out loud as the cats gathered around on the pillows.

**Note: The living room downstairs is empty except for a large T.V., a shelf full of movies, a shelf full of video games, and large pillows along the wall. It was more of a sleep over spot and a living area.**

I clicked Rasputin and started dancing to it. The cats looked interested as the song began.

"Oh shi-" I mentally slapped myself.

I paused the song and ran to the bathroom. After a flush I came back out.

"Step back guys, this could get deadly." And with that, I unpaused and danced to the song like there was no tomorrow!

_(YouTube) .com/watch?v=p5-xd0M6tRQ_

_*Series of claps*_

_Hey! (x24)_

_There lived a certain man  
>in Russia long ago<br>He was big and strong  
>In his eyes a flaming glow<br>Most people looked at him  
>with terror and with fear<br>But to Moscow chicks  
>he was suck a lovely dear<br>He could preach the bible like a preacher  
>Full of ecstasy and fire<br>But he was also the kind of teacher  
>that women would desire<em>

RA RA RASPUTIN  
>Lover of the Russian queen<br>There was a cat that really was gone  
>RA RA RASUTIN<p>

_Russia's greatest love machine  
>It was a shame how he carried on<em>

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar  
>But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar<br>In all affairs of state he was the man to please  
>But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze<br>For the queen he was no wheeler dealer  
>Though she'd heard the things he'd done<br>She believed he was a holy healer  
>Who would heal her son<p>

(Spoken:)  
>But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger<br>for power became known to more and more people,  
>the demands to do something about this outrageous<br>man became louder and louder.  
>(Sung:)<br>"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies  
>But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"<br>No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms  
>Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms<br>Then one night some men of higher standing  
>Set a trap, they're not to blame<br>"Come to visit us" they kept demanding  
>And he really came<p>

RA RA RASPUTIN  
>Lover of the Russian queen<p>

(I'm not going to write all of the song so just YouTube it please)

The song ended and I was a pleased monkey. Though, the kittens looked mentally disturbed…

I decided to stop. After turning off the T.V. and Wii, I sat on one of the pillows next to the cats. It was 5:16.

Damn time flys by!

The girls probably wouldn't be up till eight a.m. at the earliest.

So I decided to let the other kittens out of their rooms so they wouldn't be stuck with cute, calm, loud ass snoring girls… ok well Jackie and Avery don't snore. Zaira, on the other hand…

You get the picture.

So… what do you guys wanna do?" I asked the kittens, who by the way, couldn't answer me.

I'm so pathetic, talking to cats.

Geez, is this thing still in Jade's P.O.V.?

**3****rd**** person**

Jade stared at the cats for a moment. Then something attacked her head.

"Ah! WTF?"

She looked up and saw Tobi… err I mean Pumpkin (or something like that) **(1)**.

He was on her head, pawing at her nose. Jade giggled.

"You wanna play rough tough guy?" Jade challenged taking Tobi off of her head and pinning him on his back with her hand.

She started tickling the kitty. Yep, you heard me. Tickling. The. Kitty.

**Akatsuki P.O.V.**

"What the hell is she doing to Tobi, yeah?" Deidara yelled.

"Ah, h-help sempaii! Tobi's being tickled!" Tobi laughed.

"Ha! Serves you right you little fucker!"

"Hidan, shut up!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Why don't you shut the fuck up, you fucker!" Hidan yelled back.

**3****rd**** P.O.V. (yes I make the akatsuki ones short so what?)**

"Hey you guys, knock it off!" Jade said, releasing Tobi from her grasps.

The orange faced kitten ran behind the blonde one.

"Hmm... I think I forgot something…" Jade thought, "Oh yea! You guys are going to get baths! Well, seeing its 5:45 in the morning. Now would be a good time. I think."

She grabbed Deidara, "You'll be first Handsome." She smiled.

She went to the bathroom, with a Deidara kitty in hand (ha take that fangirls :D ).

Jade turned the water on, but it came out cold.

"Damn, one of the girls must of used up the hot water… you'll be ok with cold water right?" She looked at the kitten who nodded.

Jade let the water get to kitty height before turning the tub off. She put the kitten in for a minute and turned around to grab a towel.

_La Poof!_

Smoke filled the room.

Jade coughed, "You must have been dirty, geez." She fanned the smoke away with her hand.

"What the hell, hmm?" A male voice said.

Wait… a voice? She was the only one in the bathroom… right? Her and the kitten…

Jade looked up and saw a man sitting in the tub. A cute man actually. She failed to notice it was Deidara. She was too tied up to the fact that there was a naked man in her tub.

"What the hell?" Jade said out loud.

She threw the towel to him from her spot on the ground.

"Thanks, un." Deidara replied putting the towel around his waste.

"Uh… come on. I guess I'll get breakfast ready… or something…" Jade said still getting over the shock of one, a kitten turning into a naked man and two, that naked man being her anime crush.

Awesome.

But, scary.

Awesome.

She walked into the kitchen with a half naked Deidara in toe. She grabbed a large bowl and different ingredients to make pancakes. Deidara was watching with moderate interest. Silence filled the kitchen for a while till Deidara finally said something.

"So what was up with that crazy dance, un?"

Jade blushed slightly, "Heh, you should see when me and Zaira get together. It's a lot worse."

Deidara chuckled, "Well I'm going back to the main room, yeah." He walked out of the kitchen in his awesome half nakedness.

"Wait a minute!" Jade yelled, chasing after Deidara who was already in the living room.

"So the rest of the kittens are-"

"The rest of the Akatsuki, un." Deidara finished for her. "Yes they are." **(2)**

"Great… Just… wow."

* * *

><p><em>Ok … yea … got a hot half naked blonde bomber ha-ha! YES!<em>

_Ok any who…_

_1: I already forgot like all their names…_

_2: He _doesn't_ say un, yeah, or hmm at the end of EVERY sentence._

_Please, please, please review!_


	4. Chapter 4: Akatsuki!

_GAHFGRGVDRGBJJDNRTJ! THANK YOU FOR THE NICE REVIEWS!_

_I'm so happy…. I got all giddy and started to jump up and down but then stubbed my toe and got all mad._

_Seriously guys, thanks a whole bunch! Sadly I don't own naruto, but I do own some ramen that I'm willing to share._

**3****rd**** P.O.V.**

Jade walked back to the kitchen.

The kittens were S- ranked criminals who kill people for a living and have a reputation for being evil.

She thought while stirring the mix, 'If I were to change then back… they could kill me and my friends and take over the world, and if I leave them as kittens they cant do much harm to anyone except for biting and scratching. Boy, this is a hard decision.'

She was pouring the pancake mix on to the thingy that makes pancakes **(sorry I forgot what it was called.) **and before she knew it, there were three plates stacked with pancakes.

"I guess this means I'm changing some of them back…" Jade quietly said to herself.

She left the kitchen to the living room to… 'talk' to Deidara.

**Jackie's P.O.V.**

I woke up to a loud scream. More of a yell. I quickly ran out of my room and down stairs.

I stood shocked at the scene.

Jade was on some guys back, pulling at his hair, with the kittens watching.

"Jade!" I yelled.

"Sup?" She said, pausing in mid hair pull.

"W-what are you doing?"

"She's strangling me, that's what, un!" The man yelled.

"Jade, i-is that who I t-think it is?" I asked, thinking it was Deidara from the anime Naruto.

"Why yes it is my fine friend. Oh I made pancakes too."

"DID SOMEONE SAY PANCAKES!" A scream of excitement roared from upstairs.

"Zaira's up." Jade and I said together.

**Zaira's P.O.V.**

I woke up, immediately hearing the word 'pancakes'.

"DID SOMEONE SAY PANCAKES!" I screamed.

After I fell out of my bed and hit my leg on the night-stand, I ran to the stairs and stupid gravity took its place. I tripped over air and fell down the stairs. Not even stopping at the landing, more like bouncing off the wall and into another hill of stairs. And finally, after like a MILLION years I reach the bottom.

But what seamed like a million years,

was only 16 seconds.

I was face first on the ground.

"Oh my god, Zaira are you ok?" I heard Jackie yell.

"Yea I'm fine," I looked up, "who is this person that our good friend Jade is sitting upon?"

Yea, Jade taught me how to speak in-front of people I don't know.

Take that bitches.

"Oh this is Deidara. Deidara, this is my P.I.C. or 'Partner In Crime' Zaira." Jade said, getting off of Deidara.

"Ha Ha Ha! You're funny Jade! No seriously, who is this guy?" I said.

"I told you, this is Deidara. He was one of the kittens! Oh and the rest of the kittens are the Akatsuki." She replied back.

I just stared.

"So… where's the pancakes…"

"Kitchen." Jade replied.

"C'mon Jackie… lets go and eat…" I said, grabbing Jackie's arm and pulling her to the fluffy goodness that was pancakes.

"Wait, what were you two fighting about?" Jackie asked.

"I had to make sure he wasn't a fake."

"So you pulled my hair, hmm?"

"Yep."

**Jade's P.O.V.**

I held out my hand and helped Deidara up.

"Should we change the rest of them back?" I asked, gesturing to the other kittens.

"Well… not ALL of them, un."

I sighed, "Lets eat first."

Just then Avery came down the stairs.

I was about to say something but she cut me off saying, "I already heard so shut up."

"Not a morning person, huh?" I said sarcastically.

Avery death glared me before walking into the kitchen.

**~ Time skip to after we eat and stuff because I'm lazy and have writers block :( ~**

"Ok, since you're a boy, you're changing them back and stuff while I take Konan to my bathroom." I told Deidara.

He did as told and took all the male kittens into the downstairs bathroom while I took Konan to my bathroom in my room.

When I hanged Konan, I gave her my dark blue robe with white polka-dots to cover her body. She gave a shy 'Thank you' while I said 'No problem'.

When we left the room I saw that all but one Akatsuki member were changed back to human form. Then I noticed something.

"Holy crap, we need to get you guy's clothes…" I said looking at all of the half naked hot guys in my upstairs living room.

"Hey, aren't your brothers moving in Saturday?" Avery asked from her seat between Itachi and Sasori.

"HOLY FUCKING MONKEY BALLS!" I screamed.

"Over react much?" Zaira asked.

"You know how they are, damn it! They're too over protective! Just wait till they see that there are nine guys living here!" I yelled.

"And today is Thursday." Jackie added.

"Well crap." I said.

Pein cleared his throat, gaining attention from everyone, "Can you please tell us were we are?" He asked.

"Why, my fearless leader! You are in another dimension!" Zaira said loudly and dramatically.

I slapped her in the back of the head while muttering 'Baka'.

"Another dimension?" he questioned me, as if asking approval of the weird subject.

"Well, yea. You see, in this world… you're… well… not real. A cartoon actually." I said while rubbing the back of my head.

If this was an anime, I would be sweat dropping.

They just gave me confused looks.

I sighed and grabbed my laptop, plugged it into the T.V., and showed them a Shippuden video with them in it. As they watched, I devised a plan. What would I do with them when my three brothers moved in? I was in a pickle.

After a few minutes of the criminals watching I decided to show them what their crazy awesome fans do to them.

_Gah! Sorry it's short and if it has writing/grammar errors. I'm in a hurry and I have writers block… _

_Well anyways, here's chapter four and omg cliff-hanger thingy!_

_Oh yea, lots of funny videos in the next chapter :) but I might not post in a while so you'll just have to wait. Sorry. But I'll be with my dad and stuff and my laptop does not have word doc._

_But thank you so much again for the nice review and I would reply but a lass, I'm too lazy. _

_Toodlez! :D_


	5. Chapter 5: Video's and Rap's

_I'm alive! Okay, here's the story on why I couldn't update:_

_You see, I live in the U.S.A. Arizona to be specific, and we went to Prescott for fathers day. And Prescott is normally a 2 hour drive. 1 ½ hrs. if there is no traffic and 2 ½ to 3 hrs. if the traffic is bad. So yea, two days up in pretty Prescott. That's why I couldn't update. _

_Do I sound/ look like Masashi Kishimoto? Well, I wouldn't expect you to know, but I don't. So no, I don't own naruto._

**Regular 3****rd**** P.O.V.**

Jade and Zaira were looking up video's on the laptop as the Akatsuki got situated.

Remember when I said that all but one Akatsuki member got turned back into humans? Well, the very angry and annoyed silver kitten sat on a pillow away from everyone else (A/N: XD)

"Oh, should we start with the cool raps, and then go to the embarrassing and funny stuff?" Jade asked her best of best friends.

"Um…" Zaira thought for a moment, "Yea."

"Okay, Eddie Rath time!" Jade yelled happily, "Oh, and um… Pein?"

"Yes?" He asked, unsure if he would want to hear the question.

"Can we start off with a rap of you?"

"Err… what's this… 'rap'?"

"Holy crap, we need to start off with him… Then Itachi… Then the Akatsuki rap!" Zaira said cheerfully.

Itachi and Pein gave questioning looks at the girls who were viciously typing on the laptop.

On the T.V. screen, was YouTube, and the word the girls were typing in.

'Eddie Rath Pein rap'

(All of these are on YouTube, so just type YouTube in the search thing and then copy the rest in after ok?)

Pein Rap:

.com/watch?v=7DVJ-0bzyvI

All of the akatsuki just watched as Pein nodded his head slowly to the beat.

'I guess he likes it.' Jade thought.

When it was over the P.I.C.'s went to _Itachi's rap_:

.com/watch?v=8u_Yj44763I&feature=related

Itachi's eye twitched sometimes at the Sasuke part but other wise, he found it interesting. Kisame was snickering as the others just watched.

"Ok, last rap. We may hav'ta cut some of it out for… certain reasons…"

"What, is there, like, porn or some other fucking crap?" Kisame asked.

"Ew, no! Personal reasons, GAWD!"

Akatsuki rap (A/N: YYYYEEEAAA!)

.com/watch?v=nHPW66zPqKc&feature=related

They all liked it. Plain and simple…

When Tobi/Madara's part came, the screen was cut off so that his cover wasn't blown. Madara/Tobi gave a small nod of approval as he watched the screen.

Hidan did a little kitten laugh, as some others laughed, at the end of the song.

"Ok! Now some embarrassing stuff!" Jade said, with an evil look in her eyes.

Zaira chuckled, the same evil look in her eyes as well.

Zaira hurried up and changed Hidan back into a human, while giving him a towel, so that he could use his 'witty' comments.

Jade typed in Akatsuki goes shopping #1

.com/watch?v=6lJE2MPP6QE

Hidan was… well… laughing his ass off. Itachi was glaring at the T.V. while Deidara was yelling and cursing and stuff. The others, even Pein and Zetsu, were laughing a little bit at him as well.

"That's fucking messed up, un!" Deidara yelled.

"Oh shut up, the worst has yet to come." Zaira said.

Next was Hidan cannot be killed but with FIYAH

.com/watch?v=ZpEEotStPRI

Hidan's eye was twitching and he was cursing. Kakuzu was laughing as was the others. With the exception of the more emotionless ones. (A.K.A. Itachi and Pein… Sasori was chuckling.) Hidan, of course, threatened them.

And, oh boy, there is WAY more. :D

Akatsuki-dance

Konan was the only one laughing. Everyone else (except for Pein) was either 'eye twitching', cursing under their breath, or threatening to sacrifice the hostesses.

"Why was I being raped by Orochimaru, un?"

"That is NOT funny." Sasori said.

"WTF?" Kisame said.

"I kinda fucking like my fucking part actually." Hidan stated.

"T-Tobi was last…"

"I had a guitar solo?" Itachi asked.

"Ok, time for some Hidan love~!" Zaira squeaked as Jade typed.

Hidan's F.U. song

.com/watch?v=57-noty9onI

Hidan was ginning widely, while saying 'Fuck yea' as the others looked rather … disturbed…

Narutarded – Akatsuki Fan Flash

.com/watch?v=g1gWhrcVNac

Zetsu was twitching, Hidan and Kakuzu were twitching while glancing at each other, and just about everyone looked at Itachi with fear as he just sat there watching the T.V.

(I'm getting lazy, blah!)

Naruto : Evilicious

They just stared at the two girls with a 'WTF really?' look. Except for Tobi, of course.

(ok I'm getting really lazy XP can't blame me, its like the middle of the night and I'm doing this for you guys! I'm gonna stay up all night for you guys. Because I love you all that much **(1)**)

Naruto - U.G.L.Y. [READ]

.com/watch?v=05I0cZoYKrI&NR=1

Kisame and Kakuzu were glaring at Deidara. If he could, Deidara might have been sweat dropping right then and there. Tobi was dancing the whole time.

Deidara, boy or girl?

.com/watch?v=q7Rr6WRQwhc

Deidara was cursing and yelling and all that crap he does when he's mad. Hidan, Kisame, and some others were laughing really hard, while others gave disturbed looks.

Meet the AKATSUKI!

.com/watch?v=xI8cmTCrKCs

Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi gave weird looks.

"Who is Obito, sempai?"

"Tobi, shut up, un."

Jade was rolling on the floor laughing at Sasori's part and replayed it a few times. Sasori just twitched and eventually snapped, yelling at Jade to 'JUST FUCKING CHANGE THE VIDEO'.

Fucking Jew (no offence meant)

.com/watch?v=6hsdu-0kNCs

Pein twitched, Tobi looked confused, Hidan and Deidara were glaring at each other. The others were laughing. Then everyone stopped and looked shocked when, in the video, Deidara told Pein off.

"Okay, last two videos!" Zaira said cheerfully.

"Fucking finally!"

"Hidan…" Jade started.

"Yea?"

"Shut up."

"Fucking bitch *grumble* *grumble*"

The real Akatsuki (1&2)

1).com/watch?v=oCVzBXCYTOM

2).com/watch?v=drfseJItKzs&playnext=1&list=PL2DF41F49E4EDF9B6

Itachi was on his side, twitching uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth. Kisame was twitching and staring at the screen.

"Ha-ha! Geez Deidara, I never knew you had fucking periods HA-HA!" Hidan roared with laughter.

Deidara, like Itachi, was on his side twitching and foaming at the mouth.

"You are that annoying, brat." Sasori said with a chuckle.

Zetsu was questioning if he would ever get out of this 'Hell hole'.

Kakuzu, Pein, and Hidan (after he was done laughing) were twitching.

Oh boy, were they in for it :P

_Ok, this wasn't all that good. I'm going to try and start, and maybe even finish, the next chapter. I'm having sleeping problems so I'm going to stay up all night and fix the problem tomorrow._

_Since I've gotten nice reviews, I love you all~_

_Try and understand that I'm not feeling good (and am currently constipated I think and yes I WILL share this stuff with you XD)_

_PEACE OUT HOME DAWGS!1111!SHIFT+1!_

_Deidara: WTF?_

_Zaira: I don't even want to know…_


	6. Chptr 6: Mad Hidan,a song,& grilld cheez

_**Important… well kinda…. Just read it! **_

_I'm Ba~ack! Yep that's right! I pulled away from my laziness to make a new chapter! Oh and one thing, I don't own naruto. Where were Avery and Jackie you ask? Well, since I have no interest for them and don't really like them (I have no clue why I put them in here, so I might make them move out) I made them go get clothes for the akatsuki._

_I forgot to put this video in! its really good :D (yep its still on YouTube)_

_**Akatsuki Fun Flash 7**_

_.com/watch?v=gcOCpAzs9zI&feature=feedf_more_

_Enjoy~_

**Jades P.O.V.**

I screamed as I was being chased down the hallway by Hidan. Zaira was off somewhere hiding because she took off with out me.

That bitch.

As I rounded the corner, I collided with a body. I fell on the ground and looked up.

"Itachi, help me!" I yelled and clung onto his back. I wrapped my legs round him for extra support.

Did I mention that they were all still in towels?

Just then Hidan came around the corner.

"Hidan, leave her alone." Itachi said, might I add, with no emotion what-so-ever.

"FUCK YOU UCHIHA! LEMME AT HER!" Hidan spat.

I 'meeped' and Itachi just stared, his eyes having changed to the blood red and black that is the sharingan (sp?).

Hidan glared at Itachi before grumbling a 'Fine' and left.

"Thank you Itachi-san." I said while climbing off of him.

"Your Welcome." Is all he said before leaving the hallway in the opposite direction as Hidan.

And I was just left there.

All alone.

No one.

To.

Annoy.

I made my way to the living room, where all the akatsuki were.

"I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH, THAT WHEN AVERY AND JACKIE GET BACK WITH CLOATHS, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU," I got in a dramatic dancing pose, "DANCE!"

They stared at me, like I was crazy or something.

And cue the part where I fall on my face.

"Owwwwww!"

Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan laughed.

I frowned, "Sasori-Danna, they are being mean to me."

"Not my problem."

I sighed and looked at everyone. I saw Zetsu and his awesome flytrap of doom sitting on the ground.

"Hey Zetsu, I have a question." I said crawling over to him (I fell on the ground, therefore, was on the ground.)

"Yes? **What do you want, you brat?** Hey be nice. **I don't fucking need too.** Yes you do-"

"Can you stop arguing for five minutes please?" I interrupted his conversation with himself … or other personality.

He stopped arguing and looked at me.

"Is your awesome flytrap removable?"

"It would be like taking skin off, **so NO."**

"Oh, but isn't it heavy?"

"No, not really."

"Oh, well its awesome." I said while getting off and going to some other part of the room.

"A-awesome? **What the hell?" **Zetsu said. His white side was blushing lightly.

I walked in my room, grabbing my i-pod, and went to the kitchen.

I put on the song Pain by 3 Days Grace (© not mine) and started singing the lyrics, ignoring the odd looks from the akatsuki and Pein.

While I was singing I was making grilled cheese! :D

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

_You're sick of feeling numb  
>You're not the only one<br>I'll take you by the hand  
>And I'll show you a world that you can understand<em>

_This life is filled with hurt  
>When happiness doesn't work<br>Trust me and take my hand  
>When the lights go out you will understand<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

_Anger and agony  
>Are better than misery<br>Trust me, I've got a plan  
>When the lights go off, you will understand<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing, rather feel pain~<em>

_I know, I know, I know, I know that you're wounded  
>You know, you know, you know, you know that I'm here to save you<br>You know, you know, you know, you know I'm always here for you  
>I know, I know, I know, I know that you'll thank me later<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

_Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>Rather feel pain than nothing at all  
>Rather feel pain~<em>

I brought the plate of grilled cheese into the living room and put it down on the coffee table, free for any one to take.

"What was that?" Pein asked.

"What was what?"

"Looks like she has a crush on you Pein-sama." Konan smiled, elbowing in his side.

"What?" I asked rather loudly.

"You were singing that song." She pointed out.

"It's a son called Pain. It was sang by a band called 3 Days Grace." I countered.

Pein raised an eye brow.

"No, really look! And listen!" I said, handing him my ear phones and i-pod with the song Pain on.

He blinked as the music started.

When the song was almost over, Zaira came running in the room with…

_Oooooooooooo! Cliff-hanger like thingy!_

_Yes, I bet you all hate me now. Ima lazy gurl!_

_And I will try to update more often, alas my laptop is __**still **__ not fixed._


	7. Chapter 7: Avery leaves

_Ok, new nice reviews! I'm soooo happy. The first thing I do is check my reviews so keep sending those reviews!_

_Video (YouTube):_ _.com/watch?v=X2ZSVrGILHQ&feature=related_

_Recap: And Zaira came in the room with…. (or something like that)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own naruto. I own Jade, Zaira, Jackie, Stephen, Josh, Chris, and plot idea. Avery is my neighbor, but she doesn't know she's in this story._

_Avery: Wha-?_

_Me: crap, SHES OUT FOR BLOOD!_

Avery and Jackie.

They had the clothing. (Thank Jashin… well… maybe more awesome nakedness would be nice… but a perverted Hidan is hard to handle.)

"Hey, did we miss anything?" Avery asked, I sensed a nervous tone in her voice. Weird…

"Yes." Zaira said, "Hidan tried to kill us."

"Oh… well good for you." Avery stated, the nervousness hidden well in her voice. Weirder….

"What's wrong?" Zaira asked.

Apparently, she saw the nervous tone trying to be hidden in Avery's voice too.

"Well… I'll be leaving soon."

"WHAT … THE … FUCK?" Me and Zaira said simultaneously.

"Well, my family in California needs me. I wont say why because I don't know why, but I'll call and write." She said.

My bottom lip stuck out and my eyes started water, "B-but … who will be pervy goth buddy?"

Avery blinked, "Well, I think Hidan-san and Itachi-san got that covered."

"IT WONT BE THE SAME! THEY'RE FUCKING GUYS! No offence, I love you both, BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE!" I demanded.

"Ugh, I got to pack. And you," Avery said pointing to the Akatsuki, Jackie, and Zaira, "calm her," she pointed to me, "down."

She walked out of the room, and upstairs to her bedroom.

They all looked at me, it was nothing but silence for about three minutes or so.

"Three … Two … One …" Zaira counted.

On one I screamed some nonsense work of such that involved some cuss words and something about bananas…

The Akatsuki stared wide-eyed as I was at the stared in less than a second. I clung to the stairs, my hands firmly planted on the carpeted step, while Jackie and Zaira struggled to pull me off by pulling and holding on to my leg.

"WHAT THE FUCK? HELP US!" Zaira yelled at the akatsuki.

Kisame quickly stood up and walked to the stairs. He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder.

"You know," He started," thrashing around doesn't help." He was referring to me wigging, hitting, and freaking out in his arms.

Then I did the unthinkable. I stopped thrashing and just sat there.

"Oh no…" Jackie said.

"What?" Kisame asked, as I put my finger in my mouth.

"DUDE! PUT HER DOWN!" Zaira yelled, but it was too late.

I had put my finger in his ear. A wet wily.

He dropped me while yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" He rubbed his ear as I made my daring escape.

I ran up the stairs and into Avery's room.

She looked at me, almost done packing.

"Hiya." I said.

"Hi?"

"Listen, when I was giving Kisame one heck-of-a wet wily,"

She started laughing.

"I thought that I should, instead of complaining, support you… or something…"

She smiled, "Well, its time to go. I'll call you when I get there." She smiled again and hugged me.

Never. In a million years. Has she EVER hugged anyone. ANYONE.

I was like WTF?

Then, after saying goodbye to everyone, she left.

**~Time-skip to one hour later cuz ima lazy gurl~ (you: True dat. Me: Sue me.)**

The Akatsuki were in their clothes, and were currently sitting down watching TV.

Pein: He had a black and white skull shirt and dark blue jeans. Jackie had also managed to find him a black trench coat, which he liked a lot. He also had black vans or some kind of shoe. **(1)**

Konan: She had a red slim fit top with an origami swan on it. She had skinny jeans and a black jacket. And, again, some kind of black shoes.

Itachi: He had a dark blue raven shirt on and jeans with rips in them. A dark blue jacket and black shoes (I don't like shoes…).

Kisame: He had a Jaws T-shirt (Me: epic win!) and jeans. He also got a jacket. (They all basically have the same shoes :P)

Kakuzu: He had a green shirt with the money sign on it (Me: another epic win) and jeans. A jacket topped his shirt.

Hidan: He had a white shirt with red splotches (sp?) on it. Jeans and a leather jacket were with it.

Deidara: He had a black shirt with an explosion on it. The words 'I like Explodes' were written on the shirt in white. He had jeans and a jacket.

Sasori: He had a plain black shirt and jeans. No jacket because he doesn't get cold.

Tobi: He had a yellow shirt with a big smiley face on it. Jeans, a black scarf and a black jacket also.

Zetsu: He had a ying-yang shirt and some jeans.

(I think that's all of them :D )

We sat around watching Worlds Dumbest (best show eva!) Until Hidan finally broke out, "THIS IS FUCKING BORING!"

"Hidan." I started.

"What?"

"Shut up."

Hidan grumbled, but a stern look from both Kakuzu and Pein kept him from talking anymore.

"So…" Jackie started," what this weeks schedule again?"

"Umm…. I'll go see." Zaira said. She got up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Schedule?" Pein asked.

"Yea, so we don't get bored." I said.

Zaira came in with a piece of yellow paper. On it was the following days schedules.

Thursday (today): Lazy day!  
>Friday: Movie night!<br>Saturday: Jades 3 bro's are moving in!  
>Sunday: Jade has band practice, Jackie is going to church, and Zaira is going to store. (0.o idk…)<p>

"Oh yea, I forgot about Stephen, Josh, and Chris. Holy fucking shit!" I yelled.

"What?" Jackie asked the panicking me.

I pointed to the Akatsuki.

"Crap." Zaira said.

"Maybe…. What water did you use?" Jackie asked.

"Tap." I said, the sarcasm was dripping out of that word.

"No, you twit. Cold or hot?"

"Cold."

"So… um… here." Jackie grabbed Deidara and pulled him into the bathroom.

You could hear the tub running and then a loud poof. She came back out with the cute blonde kitten.

I took him from her and said, "Aw! Its a cute kitty!"

He glared at me while Kisame and Hidan were laughing.

Jackie ran into the kitchen and came back with a cold bottle of water.

I had put Deidara in my lap. Jackie opened the cold water and poured it on Deidaras head. Another loud poof sound cam and Deidara was back to human form, fully clothed **(2)**. He was in my lap.

We both blushed. I pushed him out of my lap and gave Jackie a cold hard stare.

"You could have warned me." I said, crossing my arms.

"Sorry."

Deidara returned to his seat beside Sasori and Kisame. Kisame nudged him and said something that I couldn't quite hear. What ever it was, it made him blush harder and get mad.

"Okay!" Zaira said, interrupting my thoughts.

"We will watch T.V. like lazy shits!" she said happily.

"Sounds good to me." I said.

**~Time skip to later that night cuz ima lazy gurl :D ~**

I sighed, I had been making dinner while everyone was goofing off or something.

"Do you need help?"

I jumped and turned around, it was Itachi.

"Oh, Itachi-san, you scared me. Um… no I don't. I'm just going to make a ton of macaroni." I had said, hopping that he would leave.

But he didn't. He just watched me make dinner.

Fucking Mac 'n cheese!

I was getting creeped out.

He activated his sharingan.

_Yay~ New chapter… ok… yea… boring chapter is boring._

_Eh… _

_PLEASE F-ING REVIEW! thankies :3_


	8. Chapter 8: Horror movies pt 1

_You already know the disclaimer… chicken is good. _

_This chapter will be shorter. So sorry._

_p.s. this and the last chapter will/were in jade's p.o.v._

"U-um … Itachi-san?"

"Hn?"

"W-what are you doing? That is, with your sharingan?"

"Learning to use that so called 'stove'."

I mentally slapped my self.

"Oh, ok. Well if your ever going to learn, you should come over here so I can show you." I said.

He did so, and came over and watched me cook. As I explained how to work the stove, I used the Mac n' cheese as an example.

"With most, just about every, pasta you have to boil the water." I explained.

Then it hit me.

"Just like ramen."

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

I nodded my head and continued to cook.

**~Time skip~**

I set the big bowl of Mac n' cheese on the coffee table that was in the downstairs living room.

"Dinner, my little balls of joy!" I yelled sarcastically.

One by one the Akatsuki and my girls were walking in from various directions.

I passed the bowls around and everyone got the amount they wanted.

We all sat and ate quietly.

That chain of silence was broken by Zaira.

"We should all sleep down here tonight!"

"What?" Jackie asked, a light blush painted upon her cheeks.

"Yea, I mean… we need to figure out where they will all sleep, and besides," Zaira said, pointing to the Akatsuki," this'll be fun."

Pein coughed, gaining attention from everyone else.

"Can't you just turn us back to kittens?" He asked.

I was about to reply when Zaira cut in and said with a grin, "Nope."

I glared at her, but then started to think.

Maybe we could rent a movie or something… I mean, its only six p.m., we could get a horror or something. Something that really would scare the crap out of Jackie and Zaira.

Maybe even Konan…

You see… I know whom of the Akatsuki Jackie and Zaira like. And I like to play match maker.

Its fun.

Zaira likes Zetsu and Jackie likes Hidan.

I was shocked when I heard that Jackie liked Hidan. They're so different…. Well that is, when Jackie's not mad, then they're totally different.

As for Zaira, she just plain likes weird things, like me. So when she saw Zetsu, like me, she fell in love with him.

But of course, I like Deidara more than Zetsu.

"Who wants to watch a horror movie?" I asked.

Jackie froze. She didn't like horror movies unless she was in that weird evil mood.

"Movie?" Pein questioned.

"Yea, a horror movie had like all that scary crap and blood and stuff. I know some good ones… but Hidan should come too. I bet he'd pick out some good ones." I said.

Why did I want Hidan to come you ask?

Well its simple.

He would have good taste.

"Hell, this if finally getting fucking interesting." Hidan said getting up from his seat.

I grabbed my car keys went out the front door with Hidan.

_Ok, see? Short. I'm in a good mood this week so I'm updating more than my usual once a week thing._

_next chapter soon to come. But you got to R&R! (Rate & review)_

_Seriously, I'm not joking. *Gives death glare*_

_Okay have fun~_


	9. Chapter 9: Horror movies pt 2

_**1zara-uchiha1**__ has requested that I please make this chapter a long 5,000 word chapter. I Failed at his/her request, and had to cut it short. But hey, this is the longest chapter I've written, and it took a few days to write it too! If you add a few days of me being lazy, that is… ^^;_

_I don't own naruto yada yada yada …. Seriously I don't even care fore the disclaimer thingy. I wanna write! So here it is… *insert evil laugh*_

_And yes its still in Jade's P.O.V._

Once Hidan and I finished the short trip the video store, we went straight to the horror section. Well… I picked an action/horror movie called _Cloverfeild_. (by the way, it's a good movie! I recommend it)

We searched through the whole horror section, picking the movies we though were suitable. Hidan picked Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Childs Play, and Nightmare on Elms Street.

I was surprised. He picked truly scary movies and he doesn't even know it. In my opinion, Chucky was fucking scary. Jackie totally agrees with me but Zaira thinks he's 'cute'.

…

How the hell is that fucking doll _cute_?

Anyways, I picked Cloverfeild, Friday the 13th, Zombie Land (its funny. The guy that likes the Twinkies is my fav. But the zombies scare the crap out of me. So do clowns… zombie clowns are not fun…), and I Am Legend.

I was surprised that Hidan didn't cuss… much.

When he got in he said 'Fuck yea!' earning glares from the shop workers. And when he saw all the horror movies he said 'I can not fucking wait. This is going to be so much fucking fun.'

After we got our movies, we headed back to the car. I counted, and there were 7 in all. I guess this will be the scary movie night.

**~Time Skip to Condo~**

Hidan and I returned with the movies. Surprisingly, the place wasn't a wreck. And the dishes were done… I looked around and found the Akatsuki, Jackie, and Zaira playing monopoly.

"I'm so proud of you guys! So responsible!" I said sarcastically.

"Ha, Ha very funny." Zaira said.

"Who's winning?" I asked.

"Who do you think?" Kisame said.

"Me." Kakuzu said, showing me all the fake monopoly money he had.

"Well good for you Kakuzu, but its time to put the game away. We got to watch 7 movies tonight!" I said as I gave the movies to Jackie who looked like she was going to have a heart-attack.

She read the movies titles out loud. She had a nervous, scared tone. She wasn't much of a fan of scary movies.

Her and I share many of the same fears, which most of these movies are about.

I know how to cover my fear, but she doesn't.

She's in the middle of training.

"Cloverfeild, T-Texas Chainsaw Massacre, C-C-Childs Play, N-Nightmare on E-Elms Street, I A-Am Legend, F-Friday T-he 13th, a-and Z-Zombie Land…" Jackie said.

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" She asked.

"Is little Jackie scared?" Kisame said teasingly.

"Stop it! It's not funny!' She yelled at him as he laughed.

I slapped Kisame across the face.

"BITCH IF YOU MAKE FUN OF **MY** FRIENDS, YOUR MAKING FUN OF ME!" I yelled at him.

I was pissed to the off.

"Ouch! Ok, ok sorry. God…" He said, rubbing the side of his face where I awesomely slapped him.

I slapped a ninja shark man… beat that bitches.

I sighed, "Ok the first one is Cloverfeild. It's more of an action than a scary movie."

I put the movie in and started it. As the previews started, I got sheets, blankets, and more pillows for everyone to lay on and stuff. We were in the downstairs living room.

We all laid down.

Pein was on the small couch we brought into the room. Zetsu was on the other small couch. On the ground, from left to right, was Kakuzu, Hidan, Jackie, Kisame, Me, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, Zaira, Konan, and Itachi.

The movie start scene thing came on and I pressed play. The movie started. The whole movie was from the point of view of a video camera, if that makes sense.

**~time skip to after movie and when we choose the next one~**

"Ok, what's the next movie?" I asked.

"Friday The 13th! Then I Am Legend." Zaira said excitedly. "Then The Nightmare on Elms Street."

I nodded and put in Friday The 13th.

During the movie I would hear outbursts. Mostly from Tobi saying he was scared and stuff, then Deidara telling him to shut up. He would add his little 'un' at the end. I though it was cute.

I glanced over at Jackie and smiled.

She was holding onto Hidan's arm, as if her life depended on it. Hidan didn't seem to mind, though, he was to busy watching the movie's gore and blood and such.

I nudged Deidara and Kisame. They looked at me and I pointed to Jackie and Hidan. Deidara smirked slightly and Kisame held back a snicker.

**~Yet another Time skip to the next movie~**

I Am Legend started.

Remember those fears that me and Jackie shared? Well one of them is zombies. I'm terrified of them. More so than Jackie is.

(spoiler alert if you haven't seen I Am Legend)

I cried silently when he had to kill his dog. I love animals, and can't stand to see one die.

Deidara looked at me, smirking, and told him that he was a baka. (Baka means stupid or idiot.)

Throughout the movie I would glance over at Jackie. I noticed that she fought back tears as well at the dog part.

Once in the movie, when there was a more… scary part if that makes sense, I saw Hidan's arm around Jackie.

'WOOT! Go Jackie!' I thought in my head.

I nudged Deidara. He seemed upset that I was interrupting him again. I pointed to the two and he covered his mouth. A laugh was threatening to escape.

I was proud of Jackie.

I sighed and watched the movie.

**~Time skip to movie credits~ (You: a lot of time skips… Me: Shut up.)**

I got up and made my way to the kitchen.

"Whatchya doin Jade?" Zaira asked from her seat by Zetsu.

She had moved up there because the floor hurt her butt or something dumb.

"I'm getting popcorn, duh!" I said, like it was obvious.

"Oh… make sure to make some with butter!" She yelled back.

"You think I'm an idiot? Of course I'll put butter!"

I made five bowls of buttered popcorn and passed them around. I gave Pein one, Kakuzu one, Zaira one, Konan one, and I had the last one.

"Okay you guy's, don't fight over the fricken popcorn. You got to share like good kiddies."

They stared at me.

I sighed and put in the next movie which was The Nightmare on Elms Street.

I had positioned my self so that I was laying on my stomach and the popcorn was to my right. It was so that when I jumped, the popcorn wouldn't go flying.

From time to time Deidara had to reach over me to get some popcorn.

Near the end of the movie Tobi screamed and yelled, "TOBI WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!"

And this was rewarded with Deidara hitting Tobi in the head and yelling, "SHUT UP, YEAH!"

"Ouch! Jade-Chan! Deidara-Sempai's being mean to Tobi!"

Deidara was annoyed as the credits rolled by.

I shook my head, "Deidara, stop hurting Tobi and Tobi, stop interrupting the movie."

Oh Jashin, I feel like a stay at home mother.

Jashin, if you can hear me, kill me now!

_Jashin get a shot gun and the red laser thing points at my fore-head. He's about to shoot when a phone call interrupts him. He answers and says, "Oh the sacrifices are ready? Ok I'll be there shortly." He hangs up the phone and leaves to get the sacrifices. Leaving me to live._

I wait for a moment.

Damn it Jashin!

"Ok… next movie is …Hell yea! Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Yay for blood and gut's and stuff!" I said happily.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favorites.

I eagerly put the movie in as Hidan yelled, and I quote, for me to hurry the fuck up.

I sat back down in my seat between Kisame and Deidara.

**~During the movie~**

"Fuck yea! Kill that fucking bitch!" Hidan yelled.

"Hell yea!" I said.

"She's turning into Hidan!" Kisame yelled.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Jackie yelled.

Everyone looked at her with shocked expressions and raised eye brows. That is, everyone except me and Zaira. We knew Jackie all to well. Never make her mad.

Never.

I sighed and continued to watch the movie, laughing at some parts that made the others sick.

At one point in the movie… let's just say… I had to piss.

I was laughing too hard with Hidan.

It was the part where the guy was being chased by Jason, the crazed killer.

I got up and ran to the bathroom laughing like crazy.

Once I got in I slammed the door.

**Akatsuki Deidara p.o.v.**

Jade and Hidan were laughing.

'She's so cute when she's laughing, hmm.' I thought.

I noticed that, instead of watching the movie, everyone was watching them. They were up front, to get a better view I guessed.

Jade suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door when she got in.

You could hear her laughter from in there.

"Good job Hidan, un. You made her laugh _so_ hard that she almost pissed herself, yeah."

Hidan was laughing even harder.

"I hope his heart explodes." Kakuzu said casually.

"Fuck *laughter* you, bastard *laughter*!" Hidan said, getting his laughter under control.

They heard a toilet flush and the sink turning on then off. Another moment later Jade came out giggling uncontrollably.

She came and sat by me and Kisame, her usual spot, still giggling.

'Oh god, she's so cute with that grin on her face, un.' I thought.

The movie continued, and I'm happy to say that we were kind of squished together.

**Regular P.O.V. (Jades)**

I sat back down, maybe a bit too close to Deidara.

But I didn't care. I just wanted to watch the movie with out having to piss myself.

Soon, the movie ended. The next one was Childs play.

I nearly pissed my self… again.

I, like I said earlier, HATE chucky.

I stiffened as Zaira put in the movie, a big grin on her face.

"Are you ok?" Deidara asked me in a low whisper, as if he didn't want to embarrass me.

"Y-yea… err…" I though for a moment, should I lie and protect my dignity or whatever, or tell him that Chucky is a creepy ass doll.

Deidara looked at me, with a raised eye brow.

"No, really, I'm fine. Chucky is just a creepy as doll is all."

Sasori looked over, "What's the matter? Afraid of puppets?" He asked teasingly.

"First of all," I said," Chucky is a _doll_ not an awesome puppet like you Danna."

Sasori smirked.

"Second, I FUCKING HATE CHUCKY! HE'S SO FUCKING CREEPY!"

Tobi, by now was passed out… or maybe knocked out. Deidara hit him so many times in the head that he sort of just fell asleep. Or is dead… either way, he wont be making many outbursts.

**~ Time skip to mid movie! ~**

I stared wide eyed.

On the screen, chucky was laughing.

I hated his laugh.

I clutched the closest thing to me when Chucky popped up out of nowhere.

The closest thing to me just happened to be Deidara's arm. I had a death grip on it.

I quickly let go.

He smirked and I rolled my eyes.

By the end of the Chucky movie, I was killing a poor pillow, squeezing the life out of the poor thing.

"Finally, the last one." Zaira said with a yawn.

We started Zombie Land.

I had finally given up and went to bed. From what I found out before I went to sleep, Zaira had fallen asleep on the couch with Zetsu and Itachi fell asleep of boredom.

I dreamt weird dreams…

First of all, there was a chicken. I was chasing the chicken and then relised I was a black wolf. I looked around then relised I was in the game wolf quest (A/N: awesome game btw) and was surrounded by the Akatsuki, also wolves. Then we all went hunting and took down the really, really hard to kill bull elk. Then Hidan went all psycho on the elk and cut its head off. Then the elk said, "Oh no you didn't!" while doing the head and finger movement thing. Then everything went black.

I woke up a little later, I didn't hear the T.V. so I thought they were finished.

I looked at Kisame, who _seemed_ like he was sleeping. Along with Hidan who was twitching a little.

I looked up at the clock under the T.V.

"7 in the morning?" I asked my self.

I usually woke up at around, oh I don't know, like 5 or 6 in the morning.

Then I glanced up at the T.V. and screamed.

On the T.V., was the zombie clown from Zombie Land. It was a close up of him.

All of a sudden I heard Laughter. It was coming from the previously though sleepers.

Kisame and Hidan were rolling around laughing, as was some of the others, who were just chuckling or giggling. Pein, Zetsu, Itachi, and Kakuzu had raised eye brows. Konan had a surprised/slightly scared expression on her face. Everyone else was, like said before, laughing/chuckling/giggling.

"Its not funny!" I yelled with flushed cheeks.

"Yes it is!" Kisame roared with laughter.

"Fucking hell yea it was, ha!" Hidan agreed.

I 'hmphed' and crossed my arms across my chest and stomped up stairs. Once up there, I ran to my room and grabbed my guitar.

It was double sided and tricked out. One side as for the slower beat songs and the other side was for the more rock and roll type songs. (I'll let you imagine what it looks like cuz I'm too lazy to put in a description right now.)

One I had my guitar in hand, I slowly, like a cereal killer or something, made my way down the stairs with one of those crazed looks in my eyes. Like Hidan when he's blood lusting or mad.

I looked to my right and noticed that Hidan was still laughing, but Kisame had stopped.

I dropped my guitar at my side, but still had my hand around the handle so it didn't fall all the way down. It made a loud thunk. The loud thunk sound gained most of the attention in the room. Everyone except for, and of course, Hidan, who was still laughing like an idiot.

They looked at me then Hidan, then the guitar.

Let me tell you something about my guitar. Its fully made of medal, at least the inside is. You see, there is a wood … coat you could call it, on the out side of the guitar to make it look better. It weighs at the very _**least**_ 50 lbs. or so. It could easily break a window … or a small table … or a face …

I held my guitar over my shoulder, like a baseball bat, and walked over to Hidan.

Slow and steady.

When I got to him, he was still laughing. By now, the zombie clown was off the screen.

I took a swift swing and hit him square in the head. And this, caused blood to splatter on some of the sheets under him. I smirked as he had an expression of shock, anger, and pain in one look. It was kind of funny actually.

I got a cloth from the kitchen and cleaned my guitar while throwing a large cloth to Hidan.

All the while, he was cussing and yelling till he was told to be quiet by Pein.

I smiled as I wiped the last of the blood off of my guitar.

_Ok, I'm bad I know. Oh and sorry for any possible spelling and/or grammar problems._

_I just can't write 5,000 words. I only got to 3,269._

_Anywho, I'll POSSIBLY post in the next four days or so, seeing that I'll be with my mother for the fourth of July *grumble* while my dad is in Vegas :P I wanted to go with him .*_

_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW_

_Till next time my precious!_

_Ok that sounded stalkerish…._

_Eh… oh well. :D_


	10. Chapter 10: Jello and whip cream

_Me: Hey Hidan! Come here a second will ya? Hidan: Why the fuck should I? Me: Just stand right here, in front of me. Please? Hidan: Ugh, fucking fine. *gets hit with a bunch of shuriken* Me: Sorry I haven't updated :D Hidan: I hate you… Me: Aw, I love you too Hidan! Deidara: Ha-ha! _

**Jade's P.O.V. (normal)**

I sighed. It has been a few hours since the whole Hidan being annoying thing happened, and we haven't done **anything **since then.I sighed again.

"What's your problem, un?" Deidara asked me, pushing some of his long blonde hair out of his face.

"I'mbored!" I yelled.

"Well … we go outside… in the back yard. Its supposed to snow tonight, so maybe we might see some snow!" Jackie suggested enthusiastically.

"Oh yea… I totally forgot it was December ha-ha… We've been inside for so long…" Zaira said.

"But I don't get it, how can it get so fucking cold in Arizona?" I asked, getting up to get my jacket.

"Don't ask me, ask mother nature." Zaira replied back to me.

I glared at her, then walked to the back door. I looked out side, and there was no snow… yet…

"Come on, lets us go out," I got in a dramatic pose, "OUTSIDE!"

The Akatsuki stared at me, with raised eye brows, while Jackie and Zaira got up and followed me. I flung the door open and marched outside. My backyard was pretty big, and to top it off, it had ten foot walls surrounding it.

All of a sudden I felt a burst of energy and started running around and doing gymnastics.

**Deidara P.O.V.**

I followed the three girls outside, the akatsuki following shortly. I stood by Jackie who was watching Zaira and Jade run around like idiots.

"What are they doing, yeah?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Only god knows…" Was Jackie's reply.

I shrugged and continued watching them.

"What the fuck is wrong with the crazy bitch (Zaira) and the psycho bitch (Jade)?" Hidan asked, as he came outside last.

I shrugged and continued watching them do back-flips and handstands and what not.

"Hey Jade! Do the thing where you bend backwards!" Zaira yelled from in a tree.

How she got up there, no one knows…

"Ok!"

She started dancing and then started to slowly move backwards.

"Holy shit, un." I said, seeing her bend back and balance on her ankles.

Jade laughed, "I NEED MEH JELLO!"

"Your what?" Sasori asked.

"Her jello..." Kisame replied.

"Ooooo~ I could go for some jello… we should make some!" Jackie yelled from her spot in a tree.

How the hell are they getting into these trees?

"Yea!" Jade replied from a thick branch.

"How the hell are you getting in those trees so fast, yeah?" I asked, shocked at their speed.

"WE ARE NINJA!" Jade yelled, pumping her fist in the air.

Kisame laughed while Sasori no Danna just shook his head.

Leader-sama sighed, "Well… can we train?"

"Hmm? Oh, sure, but no weapons or jutsu's please." Jade replied while heading to the house.

Leader-sama nodded, "Ok, you heard her. No Jutsu's or weapons. Use taijutsu (sp?) only."

**Jade's P.O.V.**

I walked into the kitchen and got out a large rectangular glass pan. And I mean **large.** I then got out a few jello packet things and started mixing the ingredients.

"The only problem with jello," I said quietly to myself, "is that it takes a long fucking time to harden…"

Before I knew it, I had stuck the jello in the refrigerator and found myself on the couch. The only reason I wanted to be inside right now was because I didn't want to get accidentally punched in the gut, or get accidentally kicked in the head… I heard the back door open to see Zaira pop her head in.

"What are you doing in here?" She asked me.

"Waiting for the jello to get to its jiggly state." I replied in a monotone voice, kind of like Itachi.

"Well, wait out here."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

''Because why?"

"Because I don't want to get punched in the gut and, or, get kicked in the head."

"Oh come on, please?"

"Ugh, fine…" I growled.

"Yay!" Zaira said while doing her victory dance.

I sighed, "Stop shaking your butt in your little victory dance and let me through the door."

"Someone's a little pissy bitch. You PMSing or something?" Hidan asked, casually.

"No Hidan, I'm just **so** exited that my brothers are moving in tomorrow, and then they're going to see you." I said sarcastically.

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you already forgot! We can change them into cats you know!" Jackie said from her seat in a lawn chair.

Bitch better be happy in that lawn chair.

"No, it's the fact that they will be living there, and sooner or later, they'll find out about those… things and Konan." I said, pointing a finger to the boys, and gesturing my hand toward Konan.

All the boy's either glared, yelled, or in Hidan's case, cursed.

"Well, Konan could stay human… she'd just have to change her appearance a bit is all…" Jackie commented.

"Yea… hey, what time is it?"

"Um…" Jackie pulled out her phone, "4:30, why do you ask?"

"The jello will be done at 5:30 or so…" I said while playing with my hair.

"Hell yea! JELLOOO~!" Zaira yelled happily.

"Jello is not jello with out whip-cream!" I snapped.

"What's… jello?" Kisame asked.

Zaira, Jackie, and I stared at him wide eyed.

"IT IS THE BEST THING EVA!" We all screamed at once.

He blinked then shrugged.

We talked for about two more ours. Discussing what we would do tomorrow. My brothers had said that they'd call an hour before they got there with their stuff. This was going to be tricky. You know how brothers are, always annoying you and getting in your bra's and such. Who knows, maybe they'll try to torture the kittens by putting water on them and then, POOF! Very mad, and very wet Akatsuki.

I sighed and went inside to check on the jello. It was done.

It looked perfect. It was doing whatever jello's do.

I know they do a lot of work involving jiggling.

I brought it into the living room and sat it on the small table we had. (After moving the damned coffee table so everyone had enough room.)

I called everyone in and then went to the kitchen to get some spoons and the big can I love called cool-whip.

Everyone came in and sat around the Jello… everyone that is, besides Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Sasori. Pein watched with moderate interest.

"Ok," I said, sitting right in-front of the jello, shaking the whip-cream," what should we right?"

"Oh I know!" Zaira said, proceeding to whisper it in my ear. I smiled, devilishly.

I shook the bottle again and gave it to Zaira who wrote, 'A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. But a kiss aint a kiss, without some tongue. So open your mouth, and close your eyes. And give your tongue, some exercise.'

Yea, we had that big of a tray of jello. It was HUGE. *dirty thoughts*

I gave each member a spoon, and taking my awesome ice cream spoon and spread the jello around. The Akatsuki didn't look to pleased.

"Oh come on! It's not gonna kill ya!" I yelled.

They stared at me.

I sighed and put my spoon in, and digging out a good sized chunk. *more dirty thoughts* I put it in my mouth and chewed.

"You know… I could really go for some- Ah WHAT THE FUCK?" Kisame yelled as whip-cream was sprayed on his face.

Everyone, except for the emotionless ones of course, laughed.

I started coughing, choking on my jello. Once I got it down, I laughed with the others.

Zaira giggled, then took my hand.

"Ah what are you doing?" I yelled/giggled.

She squirted whip-cream on each of my finger tips, on both hands.

"Ok you guys, pick a finger!"

"What-What?" I yelled.

Before I knew it, Zaira had me left index finger in her mouth. Hidan quickly grabbed my right hand and stuck my middle finger in his mouth, mimicking Zaira. They both pulled my fingers out of their mouths.

"Dude! I still have eight fingers with whip-cream on them! I need meh jello!" I yelled. "Get it off!"

Jackie grabbed my left thumb and quickly stuck it in and out (dirty thoughts XD X( ), getting the whip-cream off of it. Tobi grabbed another finger from my left hand and stuck it under his mask. Kisame and Deidara both got a finger from my right hand. I looked at the others. Konan shook her head, Itachi had a slight glare, Zetsu would have probably tried to eat me, Pein wouldn't do it, Kakuzu wouldn't do it, and Sasori cant taste and doesn't need food.

I sighed and wiped my fingers on Zaira's shirt. I received a loud 'WTF?'.

**~Time skip~**

The jello, by now, was gone. Surprisingly, the Akatsuki liked it! Everyone had at least one bite. Even Pein agreed that it was good.

I sighed, seeing that it was 9:00 p.m., I called it a night and left Konan and Jackie to change the Akatsuki back into kittens. I just can't trust Zaira, who knows what would happen…

_BORING CHAPTER IS BORING!_

_I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I DIDN'T MEAN TO I SWEAR! WHY IS THIS THING STILL IN CAPS LOCK?_

_Ok, yea, Yay for boring chapter? Eh…_

_Please review… please… *Gives puppeh eyes of DOOMEH!*_

_Till next time I guess…_

_**I have a poll out. Who's your favorite Akatsuki member? Vote now *gives thumbs up that makes Gai and Lee sob!***_


	11. Chapter 11: Blubber muffins

_Me: HIDAN~~~! Hidan: What the fuck? Don't fucking yell I'm right here! Me: Oh… Hidan: *walks up to me* what do you want? *gets hit with a bunch of rotten foods, milk, and sharp pointy objects* Me: Never mind. You served your purpose. :) Hidan: I will kill you Me: D:_

_Okay, I have a VERY good reason for not uploading! I was at my very first beach! Yep, Pismo Beach California! My first time feeling beach sand, seeing real sea gulls, and going into the very cold ocean (even though its like, over 90 degrees in Arizona, and that is HOT)._

_Ok read my little chip-lets!_

… _don't ask …_

**HEY IF YA WANNA KNOW HOW THE KITTEHS LOOK THEN GO HERE! (take out the spaces)**

http:/ lolavatarwolfs. deviantart. com/#/d41kakk

**Jade's P.O.V.**

I woke up at my usual time. 5:30 a.m.

The first thing I noticed was something warm next to my face… it was soft… oh so soft! (A/N: XD)

I turned my head ever so slightly, and saw a tuff of yellow.

I nearly screamed, after my brain processed what and who the little fur ball was. I slowly got up, and looked around.

First of all, there were about four cats in my room. Second, my door was open, and I just hate that. Third, HOLY FUCKING CRAP MY BROTHERS ARE COMING TODAY!

I sighed and got up off the bed. I took another look around my room. Itachi was at the foot of my bed, Kisame was on my desk chair, Tobi was on my other pillow, and Deidara was by my head_…_

And of course, being the awesome pawesome ninja kitties they are, they woke up as soon as I moved…

Deidara blinked his large blue eyes, Itachi just looked at me with a bored expression, Kisame got up and stretched, and Tobi being Tobi, got up and ran around.

"Don't worry," I said, "I'm just going to take a shower."

I could've sworn I saw Kisame and Deidara smirk.

Perverted bastards.

I sighed and gathered the needed clothing and walked into my bathroom, making sure to lock the door. I turned the shower on, stripped myself, and got in the shower. I found myself singing a song called Secret.

Lyrics:

Got a secret  
>Can you keep it?<br>Swear this one you'll save  
>Better lock it, in your pocket<br>Taking this one to the grave  
>If I show you then I know you<br>Won't tell what I said  
>Cause two can keep a secret<br>If one of them is dead...  
>Why do you smile<br>Like you have told a secret  
>Now you're telling lies<br>Cause you have sworn to keep it  
>But no one keeps a secret<br>No one keeps a secret  
>Why when we do our darkest deeds<br>Do we tell?  
>They burn in our brains<br>Become a living hell  
>Cause everyone tells<br>Everyone tells...  
>Got a secret<br>Can you keep it?  
>Swear this one you'll save<br>Better lock it, in your pocket  
>Taking this one to the grave<br>If I show you then I know you  
>Won't tell what I said<br>Cause two can keep a secret  
>If one of them is dead...<br>Look into my eyes  
>Now you're getting sleepy<br>Are you hypnotized  
>By secrets that you're keeping?<br>I know what you're keeping  
>I know what you're keeping<br>Got a secret  
>Can you keep it?<br>Swear this one you'll save  
>Better lock it, in your pocket<br>Taking this one to the grave  
>If I show you then I know you<br>Won't tell what I said  
>Cause two can keep a secret<br>If one of them is dead...

[spoken]  
>Alison?<br>Yes, Katherine.  
>I have something I want to tell you, but<br>you have to promise to never tell anyone.  
>I promise<br>Do you swear on your life?  
>I swear on my life<p>

[end spoken]

You swore you'd never tell...  
>You swore you'd never tell...<br>You swore you'd never tell...  
>You swore you'd never tell...<br>Got a secret  
>Can you keep it?<br>Swear this one you'll save  
>Better lock it, in your pocket<br>Taking this one to the grave  
>If I show you then I know you<br>Won't tell what I said  
>Cause two can keep a secret<br>If one of them is dead...  
>(chorus x 3)<br>Yes two can keep a secret  
>If one of us is... Dead.<p>

I got out of the shower with my towel wrapped around me. I made my way to my cloths, not wanting any of those perverted kittens to see me half nude.

"Aw fuck!" I groaned. "I forgot the underwear…" I whispered to myself.

I looked at the door, for what seemed like hours before opening it ever so slightly (A/N: lol so we meet again crazy phrase!). I saw the kittens on the bed. Shit they didn't leave…

What have I done to deserve this?

Why Jashin-sama? WHY~?

I opened the door all the way, wincing at the creaks.

'I'm going to have to oil that…' I thought to myself.

The cats snapped their heads towards me. Tobi immediately hid his face in his paws. Itachi just gave me a blank… glare? Kisame was smirking, looking up and down (PERVERTS! I HAS A TOWEL ON!). Deidara's jaw was dropped and he, too, was looking me up and down.

"OH MY JASHIN, FUCKING PERVERTS! Well, except Tobi, and I think Itachi… I don't know… BUT DEI AND KISAME! LEARN YOUR MANNERS!" I half yelled and half said, quickly opening my dresser door and taking out under wear.

Then I made a quick dash to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door… again. I quickly changed and got out.

I glared at the yellow and blue kittens. Then I blinked and smiled, "If you two had kittens, they would be green!" I jumped up and down, excitedly.

The two said kittens were foaming at the mouth, twitching.

That's what you get for mentally feeling me up, bitches.

I smiled and made my way out of the room, down stairs, and into the kitchen. By now it was 6:30 a.m. and I was starving.

**3****rd**** person cuz I don't like saying 'I'**

Jade smirked as the four kittens followed her, Tobi being the closest.

She got out the needed ingredients and made blueberry muffins. (A/N: OMJ I LOVE BLUBBERY MUFFINS :D ! You: Don't you mean blueberry? Me: That's what I said…)

As the muffins baked, Jade decided that she'd wake up the only other two people she lived with… unless you count the akatsuki… and she woke them up the only way she knew.

**~Time skip to after being woken up~**

"Ah! Help me~!" Jade yelled as she got chased by two extremely annoyed girls.

"THAT FUCKING HURT MY EARS!" Zaira yelled.

"MY EARS ARE STILL RINGING! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO USE AN AIRHORN (or blow horn idk)?" Jackie yelled.

"It was loud…" Jade said while shrugging.

They glared at her, but then caught sent of the muffins.

''Hey, by any chance did you make… blueberry muffins?" Jackie asked.

"Yes, you can have some if you be good." Jade said with her eyes closed, a smile forming on her face.

When she opened them a split second later the two girls were gone.

"Hey! Save some for me!" Jade yelled running toward the kitchen.

"M-my muffins…" Jade said sadly as she watched everyone scarf down her beautiful muffins. "WHY MUST YOU NOM MY MJFFINS? WHY I ASK YOU, WHY!" She yelled dramatically.

"Shut the fuck up."

"But… you nomed them all…" Jade pouted.

"Listen, lets just turn them back into kittens, then you can make all the blue berry muffins you want, and not have them get… 'nomed'." Zaira said, using… logic?

"Did you just use logic?" Jackie asked with a shocked expression.

"…"

"The world is gonna end…"

_OK! This chapter was suckish but you cant blame me, I haven't written in a while…. Plus I'm going through a serious writers block right now so there is no much inspiration here. Some one (sorry I forgot who) gave the idea of one of the brothers hitting on Konan, since she'll be human. If you could propose any other ideas for the next chapter, that are like funny and crazy weird and all that jazz, then that would help me greatly. : )_


End file.
